| IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT |
[19 Apr 2010|11:06am] |
That is all.
And yes, this is clearly the most important venue in which to invest my time. I'm offended you would imply otherwise.
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| 9 - Gone, daddy, gone. The love has gone away; |
[30 Mar 2010|07:53pm] |
Anybody else have lesbian experimentation videos to share? Jounouchi? Skye? Lizzie? I think this would be the time. Get them all out there at once.
For the good of the community. Obviously.
( Private. )
( Private to Jennifer. )
To be quite clear, I have no new relationships to be confused about. Though, I did know about Lisa's engagement. All kinds of messed up with that one.
There must be something in the water. That's all I can say.
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| Who would have thought... |
[12 Mar 2010|11:56am] |
Blindness? Not as cool and glamorous as Lifetime movies led me to believe. I feel betrayed. I might sue.
( Private to Jennifer. )
The psycho abducting people still hasn't been caught yet, apparently. Isn't it fantastic. Though, apparently, talking about it is extremely frowned upon, because it's not financially helpful. I should feel ashamed of myself for mentioning it.
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| 8 - There's nothing that'll save your soul, All you need is alcohol |
[05 Mar 2010|09:29am] |
As a joke, one of my students gave me a Guitar Hero set, claiming that I couldn't be good at 'two different kinds of guitars'. There's so much wrong with that statement, I won't even deign it with a response. But, needless to say, I took that challenge, mostly because the kid bartered 200$ that I couldn't beat it on medium.
I'm gonna get me a new pair of shoes. Or, I'll get Jennifer something. Not sure. I'll probably get me something. I'm the one who spent the entire night playing the stupid game.
I would almost say I regret it, if I weren't 200$ richer, and didn't take the opportunity to mock said student in the middle of class by showing this slide. And don't mock my choice of band names -- 'IDK' is probably the name of a young, hip, indie band. They probably named it after watching me play Guitar Hero. That's how amazing I am. And I find it insulting that the game has the audacity to call me 'lil' rocker' on the second hardest setting in the game. Is there no shame in this world?
But, let's be serious here, it is nothing like playing real guitar. I just take pleasure in the fact that I could beat you doing both, that's all.
My fingers are killing me, though. Those ridiculous plastic buttons are no doubt to blame. To add insult to injury, my eyes have been on the fritz since I overnighted my jam sessions. So this is what my mother meant when she said 'don't sit too close to the TV, you'll wreck your eyesight'. If only I had listened sooner.
People have come back from abduction, hospitalized. Makes me wonder what the police are doing. Likely sucking their thumbs collectively, and practicing trust falls. I wonder if it even occurred to them to question the victims to see if there's a culprit that could be arrested. Yeah, even I know I'm asking too much. Speaking of, Jennifer, you're not going anywhere unless you have someone going with you. There will be no leniency on the matter.
...It's a lot harder to type when you can't see your keyboard. I must need to turn up the resolution on my computer. The day has come that my eyes are so old, they can't see tiny 8 point text. Who would have thought?
In closing, someone in a power chair just rolled up to me and has been staring for the past five minutes. I have to go yell at a cripple to stay out of my personal space.
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[20 Jan 2010|08:33pm] |
How long do you think a conversation can go, when speaking only in questions?
Can anything truly important be related?
And more importantly, do you think you can best me? Do you realize most idiots would have that mistaken idea, no matter how false it happens to be?
[lol Katy fails]
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| Just an FYI |
[08 Jan 2010|03:16am] |
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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| 7 |
[18 Dec 2009|01:24am] |
If I hear one more Christmas song I have no doubt I'll go quite insane and murder a bunch of people in spectacular fashion. Probably using explosives.
Which is great, because the Musicale is coming up.
Most of the songs are terrible. No surprise. It makes me want to deafen myself. Also not a surprise.
All in all, it's going to be mediocre. As it always is. Why is it that nobody seems to understand how to play an instrument anymore? Even singing is a lost cause. It makes a man dedicated to music (such as myself) wonder if there is really any reason to keep on going. The only pure talent I've seen in years was an autistic kid.
Why is talent wasted on those who can't use it? It's funny, that kid reminded me of someone, but I must be getting old. I can't recall how that is at all familiar.
Frankly, I'm ready for it just to be over with. Come Saturday, I'll be a much happier man.
But not by much. I've got a reputation to uphold.
In other news, conducting for Garland's show has been quite entertaining. The orchestra must have been shipped in from Russia or something, because they at least know what they are doing. As to how Liz does on stage, I don't watch that part. I'm quite busy. But if she was terrible I think somebody would say something. What part are you again?
As for Christmas, I'm not planning anything. So Jennifer, if you wanted a big meal, you'll have to go to your Grandmothers. I think I'm going to stay home and be content to do nothing. Maybe pry the cat off my chair and watch soap operas. Yes. That is what I do for fun.
And in the spirit of posting morbid snowmen:
There you are. I didn't actually make it -- just relocated it and helped it tie the noose. I bet some kid is going to walk out their door and be concerned as to where their snowman went off to.
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| 6 |
[04 Nov 2009|03:36am] |
The holidays are coming up, faster than I would like to admit, and this means the dawn of a truly terrifying time in the music department:
We are preparing for the dreaded Holiday Musicale.
Usually, it's an arrangement of a bunch of malcontents and airheads playing a bunch of random notes on a predetermined instrument in hopes of the result of a decent enough song or at the very least, no squeals that induce brain bleeds. And unfortunately, I have no doubt this year won't be any different. If I could get out of it, oh, trust me, I would.
But I can't. Why do I have this job again?
Of course, I'm also expected to play something. It's something about the parents of the students. It's as if they constantly need to be reminded I know what the hell I'm doing. God forbid they look at my diploma, or that I teach their children, most of whom have never seen an instrument in their lives, to play them well enough that the songs they're playing are almost recognizable. And while I hate being presented like a show dog, I do believe I've found the pieces I'll be content to play.
Carol of the Bells is not an innately difficult piece, but it certainly sounds that way, which always impresses an audience. I am fond of the delicate nature of this piece. And it is fun to play, which is at least something. At least I won't be falling asleep at the piano.
Next is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. This one is obviously a little more demanding, but not difficult once you understand the pattern. And no, I don't blame you if you can't hear the pattern. But I will secretly mock you for it. This was always my favorite hymn, back when my mother would drag me to church. She stopped doing that when she realized what a heathen I was.
Smart woman.
I don't intend to play any more than two pieces this year. Of course, I'll have to direct everyone else. Much to my own misfortune. My students have been given the leave by the head of the board to choose half of the songs, much to my dismay. Their choices? 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus', 'Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer', and 'The Christmas Song'. I'm glad to see they jumped out of the box.
Jennifer.
I found a violin arrangement of Silent Night that I would like you to play. I can accompany you on piano. I know that you don't like to be the focus of attention, but if I don't have you play, I'm not going to have anything remarkable in the show, besides myself. I've got a few girls lined up for solos, but they're mediocre at best.
I can help you practice. Don't let yourself get anxious about it.
In other news, I did nothing for Halloween, other than chaperoning the College party. It wasn't a complete loss, because I've got eight different bottles of liquor from idiots that thought it was funny to try and spike the punch bowl. My gain. This will be the last idiot party I have to chaperon for the rest of the year.
Guess who is slated for the Christmas Dance? You guessed it. Our resident tightass, Kaiba. Have fun with him, co-eds. Play blaring music and run around him in circles, screaming. For good measure, ruffle his hair, and tap his ass and call him tiger. All of these combined, really. Trust me, he likes that.
( Private. )
Jennifer, you're going to have to see to your own dinner tonight. I'm supposed to go to dinner with some of my professors. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't bother waiting up for me, either, I'll probably go out for a drink after.
Garland, Redfield, if you'd like to join me, I'll consider making room for you.
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| 5 |
[26 Sep 2009|09:41pm] |
( Private. )
Since our local hospital and government don't care to say this, I guess I'm going to have to.
If you encounter someone acting strangely -- moaning, repeating the same motion, drooling, or anything that doesn't seem normal -- do not approach them. Stay in your house and lock all of the doors.
There is something seriously wrong with these individuals, and they will hurt you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but they will.
If you don't heed this advice, then I'm not going to feel sorry for you when you wind up injured.
If you are feeling ill, I can look you over. I can't guarantee you a cure, but I will find out what is affecting you.
( Garland. )
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[16 Sep 2009|03:29pm] |
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What the hell is going on?
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| You should feel blessed. |
[25 Aug 2009|09:52pm] |
I'm in a giving mood. So I'm sharing all of my useless information. Try and give me a fact I didn't already know. I doubt you can.
To get us started:
If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat, it measures 87 feet long.
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[14 Jul 2009|03:18pm] |
The best way to deal with suicidals.
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| Mallory. |
[20 May 2009|02:31am] |
Don't start with me. This is not me being nice. I got this when I was feeling uncharacteristically philanthropic. Besides, I can't teach you to ride a bike if you don't have one. Don't try to say you can't accept because you are going to. You think I can actually use a pink bike? Only to toss at unsuspecting passerby and not only would that be bad for my back, it would also likely land me in jail. So spare me the bail money and take the damn bike.
Meet me at the park before I change my mind.
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| This place has turned into a ghost town. |
[11 May 2009|09:04pm] |
Which makes it the perfect time for this:
If you ever see Dax make this face...
Run.
Run far, far away.
You don't want to know what happens after.
The last three small kittens to see that expression did not live to tell the tale.
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| 3 |
[20 Apr 2009|12:04pm] |
I have never been so happy to be a forty-five year old curmudgeon. Oh self, how I missed you.
( Private to Shizuka. )
I'm sure you all were absolutely distraught at my quite noticeable change in personality. I'm glad to inform you I am feeling much better. Not as glad as I would have been a week ago, but still fairly glad. I do know how to feel emotions other than grumpy. Believe it or no.
Last week was fairly traumatizing for my students. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I waved a paper, gave out compliments like they were after-dinner mints, and even patted one of my supposedly promising students on the back. The kid nearly swallowed his tongue.
At any rate. I was not the only one not feeling myself. Garland. Are you still alive? I'd ask about you, B, but I don't care if you're feeling better or not.
Dax. I know police work just keeps you absolutely swamped, but you'd better be at your apartment when I get there at seven, or I'll break in and run off with your valuables. Or scout your lingerie drawer. One of the two. I suppose they aren't mutually exclusive, either. You've been warned.
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| There is a cute, fuzzy little kitten in all of us. |
[31 Mar 2009|01:10am] |
Gray has posted the most infuriating link on these networks, and browsing the images really stuck that some of these felines have such an uncanny resemblance to some of the people on these boards, I figured I should post them for comparison.
( I have too much time on my hands. Thank god I don't have a JOB to worry about. )
If you don't have a cat self, it's because you aren't important enough for me to remember or you have no personality. Feel free to chose which one makes you happier.
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| 2. |
[16 Mar 2009|06:31pm] |
Though you all have likely all read about it in the paper, yes, I was in a bus accident. No, I'm not dead. I have a concussion, sure, but that doesn't make a person completely disabled. And obviously, I was misquoted in the paper, but it's not likely that they are going to make any amendments. If you'd like to hear my actual statement, all you have to do is ask, but I warn you it isn't PG-13. Why is it that whenever I say something, people feel compelled to reword things and cut parts out until I sound like a saint? Do I seem like a saint, at all?
Also, sarcasm does not relate to young reporters. Obviously.
I didn't realize there was someone else injured in the incident. Anybody know who that Mallory girl is?
Ugh. I have a headache.
( Private. )
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[02 Mar 2009|01:36pm] |
I knew it.
EDIT
That is all.
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[25 Feb 2009|04:41pm] |
I'm having a major case of de-ja vu right now.
( Private. )
If anybody was wondering, I did survive the storm. Somehow. I spent the entire time locked in a bar, though, so I suppose that's not the worst way to spend a couple of days. Apparently, a bunch of idiots got lost in the storm. Ten of them, in fact. Serves them right for traipsing about in a blizzard, if you ask me.
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